The summer is a busy time in our homes. Doubly so at Lake of the Ozarks, where waterfront homes that sat mostly quiet and empty during the cold months are now powering-up for the summer churn.
It’s during these times more than ever that we rely heavily—but thoughtlessly—on the most mundane parts of our lives to keep functioning without a hitch. Because nothing wrecks a summer weekend at the Lake like a septic backup.
There’s one man at the Lake of the Ozarks who spends plenty of days up to his neck in other people’s sewage problems, and you’ve probably seen him driving his toilet around town. It’s Steve Ryan, with Straight Flush Plumbing.
Steve’s work van is a simple white finish, with evocative custom graphics on the driver’s door: a fella taking a seat on the porcelain throne. Next to the image, the words, "The Man On The Can."
Steve won’t say whether those pasty-white upper thighs are his own or if they belong to a model who posed for the van photo. But the vehicle evokes plenty of chuckles as he cruises down Highway 54 or pulls into a driveway for a service call. Plenty of those service calls happen during the busy summer months, Steve says, and that’s because they put plumbing systems to the test.
Considering all the excrement he’s slogged through in his lengthy career, Steve is jovial about his job: he never misses an opportunity to make a terrible toilet-humor joke or pun. But he also enjoys educating people about taking better care of their plumbing systems.
Steve's Top 5 Tips:
1. Never, ever flush wipes (not even flushable ones)
2. Check your outside faucets after winter: turn them on, and put your thumb over the opening. If you can completely stop the water from flowing out, that's bad news -- it means you've got a cracked pipe. Call Straight Flush! 573-692-2411
3. Shut off your water if you’re leaving town for more than a day.
4. Tired of hard-water deposits on your faucets? Soak them in white vinegar for a few hours.
5. Hot water smelling like rotten eggs? It's the anode rod, and it can come out. (Don't know what that means? Call Straight Flush! 573-692-2411)
But even amid the best advice, mishaps happen. We chatted with Steve to get a few of his most memorable moments in dealing with customer crises….
Just A Day In The Life Of A Plumber… (a few stories Steve remembers, but that he’d probably rather forget)
1. When The Baby Jammed The Toilet. A family called Steve when their toilet wouldn’t flush. The culprit: a baby’s plastic-coated spoon was stuck in the trap.
2. Vanishing Hot Water. A woman called Steve with an odd situation: her water heater was on, but she had no hot water in her apartment. The best it would do was lukewarm. Steve found the T&P valve on the heater was stuck open, so all the hot water was running right out of the heater, into a drain!
3. That’s Not What Screwdrivers Are For. This is gross. But such is the life of a plumber. Called out to a toilet that just wouldn't flush, Steve discovered a rather… large bowel movement. “So large,” Steve recalled, “I had to pull the toilet and scrape the poop out of the bottom of the toilet with a large screwdriver. Sorry, TMI?”
Straight Flush has been handling whatever crap the Lake throws at them for years. Call them for all your plumbing maintenance and projects: 573-692-2411. Online: straightflushplumbingmo.com
